doubt

Many of you know that this is a difficult season of my life. I wanted to share with you what God has been pouring into my heart this week. It comes from James.

James 1:6-8 But when you ask, you must believe. You must not doubt. People who doubt are like waves of the sea. The wind blows and tosses them around. A man like that shouldn't expect to receive anything from the Lord. He can't make up his mind. He can never decide what to do.

I like this translation, although it might seem a little harsh.....I feel that God wants us to be bold and "ask boldy, believeingly, without a second thought...."

I catch myself going to that place where I think, I can fix this, I can fix this situation, I can convince this person! Well friends, I can't. I have been battling with this for years, and I do believe and pray, that because of this place that I am in, it was almost a warning from God. I believe with my heart that God wants me and I have been so unwilling to give Him "me" Am I willing to totally and completely trust in Him? Would I be so bold and trustworthy as Jesus was when He was tempted and resisted the devil?

Well right now I have confessed with my mouth that I will stop. I will stop fighting, I will stop challenging, I will give in to my Lord and Savoir, this is the only way to find true peace. I so desperately want this, true peace. So I am letting go, letting go of many things, not to list here, but just know I am completely and wholeheartedly giving this to God. I am listing this on here to be accountable to you all as well. Because I without a doubt am asking God for a miracle and I do believe He will give it me........I just need to trust Him. Am I willing to do that, yes........I want to be released from all of this madness and know that my joy and peace can only come from the Lord......