So as you can see, this is not me, but this IS my daily battle.....even as I sit here and type tnite I am wanting to eat, and by no means do I want to eat healthy things.....my ongoing battle of the wills, mind, and self-control feels as if it will never end......
My in laws were in this last week, they are amazing by the way and I thank God for them and the fact that I have a truly blessed life with them......when you get to the point where you are sad to seem them go after a week and a half and you want them to stay, that should say something! Anyways, needless to say I decided to eat like crap the whole time they were here. It wasn't that we had food that was "bad" for us....just pasta and bread and chips and extra chocolate grazed my house this last week.....so why not indulge.....I still managed to run, maybe once or twice and make it to the gym for one class......and felt like vomiting much of the week considering the amount of food that lie in my stomach, just fermenting.....
Well I decided, as I usually do, while getting a few last minute groceries on Sunday, to indulge one last time...after all I was going to pick up food on the way home from the local hamburger joint, fries anyone! So as I am walking through Walmart I decided to "help" myself to two, not just one, but two glourious wonderfully made doughnuts! Horrible, just horrible, I know......
So needless to say, this week, oh here we go again, I am done....I told Tony that I will not go back home to IN at the end of this month weighing more than I did the last time, I will not......So Monday morning, as much I as I drug my feet, I ran two miles and pushed myself and battled with my mind the last half mile, that I would not stop.....I have written on my calendar for every day this week, except Friday, to take a afternoon class.....I have stay committed and needless to say I am sore, exhausted and pushed to the limit, but doggone it I needed it.....I need a personal trainer like Jillian Michaels to scream in my face, I need someone to wake me up and drag me out of bed......I will beat this vicious cycle, I will.....I have done it before and I can and WILL do it again, WATCH ME!
I feel better, thank you:)
