Jibber Jabber:)

Kind of funny how as women our emotions go crazy at times! But then when everything feels like it is coming to a screeching halt, God surprises us. I have struggled a lot over the last few months with some unspoken things. But I really feel like it was a "wake up call" for me. You know those things called second chances? Well our God is a God of second chances. He loves us so much and just waits patiently for us to realize it. I still struggle with grasping the fact that this unseen being loves me and billions of others. I know that I have to be careful not to fall back into my old ways and rely on people to make me happy. I need my focus to stay on the ONE who makes it all possible when it honest to God seems so very impossible. But I am moving forward, I will not look back, I will keep going. I will not let the past get me down, I will believe that God will change me, I will continue to grow. I will not let my emotions get the best of me, but I will believe that I am being shaped, molded, pruned, picked. I will continue to fight the fight because I know that the rewards are endless.
In other news here, I have discovered I have such a love for the city. I love the energy, the passion, the scenery, etc. Tony and I ventured downtown for a date night last night. It was our first date in quite a while and I was honestly so nervous. But we had so much fun. We need to remember that even though we have been married for quite some time, we can still have fun. We can let our hair down and just get crazy:):) Anyways, I think we have found some great babysitters, I think this will help as well!
The kids are doing so good, I have realized over the last few months that we are very blessed. When you can take four children(10, 8,6,5) with you to get your hair cut, driving all over town to find a cute outfit to wear that evening, then to the grocery, and then back one more time to see if you can find a better outfit, and literally not have any major meltdowns or issues....That says something about your "babies" I love them and I am so thankful for them.
Anyways I love all of you that read, thank you for all your prayers, your encouragement, your advice, your truthfulness(no matter how much it hurts), you are all my yada yada sisters in Christ! Althoughthe journey is not over, although the journey is still jagged and rough....although the journey could fail, I will not be discouraged, because God is leading me in this journey. If I fall I know that He will continue to carry me through.....................